What Can Men Do to Help Their Wives/Partners With Vaginismus?
Men can help their wives/partners in many ways during the process of successfully overcoming vaginismus.
Vaginismus is not only the woman’s problem; it is the couple’s problem. Men can help their wives become more positive and complete treatment faster by educating themselves about vaginismus and providing emotional support. Putting up with the problem can be difficult, but vaginismus is not hopeless. Once the condition is diagnosed and treatment begins, the outcome will most likely be successful. Here are some of the ways men can help their wives;
Being supportive – A supportive, loving relationship based on encouragement and mutual respect creates a great environment for a woman to follow the treatment program. Being alone during treatment can be physically and emotionally draining for a woman. When men encourage and support their wives, the woman’s chance of success increases. Support is one of the most important factors in a woman’s success. Men should ask their wives what they want, in order to understand how they can contribute to the treatment process. Celebrating success – What may seem like a small step for men can be a huge victory for women who are undergoing vaginismus treatment. Taking their wives out to dinner, buying them a small gift, or writing a congratulatory note can encourage women throughout the process. When men show interest and excitement in their wives’ progress, this helps motivate women to continue treatment. Continuing to be positive and patient – Men tend to reflect pressure and negativity that can increase their wives’ feelings of stress and failure. Men should try to maintain a hopeful and balanced perspective, and continue to be positive and patient.
During times when women feel weak or vulnerable, men being or appearing strong creates a reassuring environment that helps women feel safer and more hopeful. Maintaining a sex life – Completely avoiding sexual life generally increases relationship problems and makes the issues worse. This leads to the accumulation of feelings of fear, shame, guilt, or rejection. By looking for alternative ways to give each other pleasure, men can try to maintain a temporary sex life without penetration but still ongoing and achievable. One of the positive aspects of vaginismus is that it enables couples to learn to satisfy each other in other ways they had never considered before. Touching the body erotically and manual stimulation can reduce tension and build trust. Not becoming overly passive – When men’s attempts to have sexual intercourse fail, they may suppress their desires in order to avoid further sadness. If men become overly passive and cannot assert their own needs, they allow their wives to postpone treatment. In fact, vaginismus is a disorder of postponement. Women try to delay treatment by putting forward various reasons. In this regard, it would be very good for men to encourage treatment by maintaining a calm but firm attitude. Marriages without a sexual element are generally a heavy burden for both spouses. If nothing is done to fix this problem and bring improvement, emotional traumas and separations that can even lead to divorce may occur. Therefore, it is very beneficial to persuade their wives as soon as possible and start treatment as soon as possible.
